Someone Hurt Me. Now What?

Have you ever been in a conflict with somebody really upset at them and you’ve said – maybe to yourself -, “I’ll show them!”

Guess who actually gets shown?

If you think about the idea that somebody has done something to you, you are feeling the victim. What do you need to do to let go that? You need to move into forgiveness.

Many people have repeated what Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

That’s what it means to be a victim: it’s happening to you.

So how do you move into the place of forgiveness?

In chapter 7 of my book, Beyond the Box, Creative Thinking Expanded, I quote Raymond Hollywell, author of Working with the Law, “If you hold in your mind that someone has wronged you or has treated you, unjustly you cannot be free from your wrongdoings or Injustice so long as you hold that thought in your Consciousness.

How is that similar?

When you’re holding the negative energy, whether the other person knows it or not, it’s like holding that hot coal.

Ernest Holmes, a well-known metaphysician, said “human forgiveness is the process that frees us to live in the Eternal now. It is an essential step before real spiritual growth can flourish.”

Last week I showed a chart of how to move from the stage of “things are happening to me to” to “things are happening with me” then “through me”. Forgiveness is a great way to do that.

How do you forgive?

Karen Drucker’s has a song called Loving Kindness. Click here to listen to it on YouTube. (It has ads.) When you want to forgive somebody, remember or play her song. The first verse is for yourself. The second verse is about the other person. The third is for both of you. The last is for yourself again. Here are the lyrics:

May I be filled with loving kindness. May I be well.

May I be peaceful and at ease.

And may I be happy.

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well.

May you be peaceful and at ease.

And may you be happy.

May we be filled with loving kindness. May we be well.

May we be peaceful and at ease.

And may we be happy.

I am filled with loving kindness. I am well.

I am peaceful and at ease.

And I am happy.

When you are happy, you exude happiness all around you. This is one of the ways you can make lasting change in yourself and in your world. You have the option to create loving kindness in your mind about people that you have ill feelings for – your neighbors, a family member, a politician, any situation.

Here’s an Example

A few years ago, across the street from where we live there was an old abandoned garage attached to a house but it was so far off that it was like it was separate and some people started selling drugs. Drug dealers and buyers were coming and going on my street. A neighbor is this big scary guy. He said, “If I see any of them I’m gonna pound their face.” I said, “I’m going to just keep seeing loving kindness there. Every time I drove by, I’d start singing Karen Drucker’s song.

Hopefully it was life-changing for them. I believe it was; they did get busted and the situation cleared up without violence on our part.

So if you are feeling something that is really hard to let go of, do this practice for 21 days without stopping. It’s a good beginning.

Christi’s Clarity

This episode of Christi’s Clarity was on Facebook on November 18, 2022

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Want to know more about these Universal Laws and how to use them?

They are described in an easy fun way using art as a metaphor in my book, Beyond the Box; Creative Thinking Expanded. It’s just $20 for a paperback and just $2 for the digital book. Learn more about the book and get either version at It’s full of tools to help you create a life of joy, creativity, fun and excitement. 

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