Who’s Controlling Your Life?
You may think other people or circumstances are controlling you.
Most of us subconsciously let other people’s opinions, comments, and criticisms into our subconscious. It’s important to “stand guard at the portal of your mind.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Otherwise you let people get to you.
Here’s How It Works
Imagine that your thinking is like this iceberg. The part that’s on the surface represents all the things your conscious mind, thoughts, and activities. Like waking up for breakfast, your loved ones, your struggle your car breaking down and so on. Those are the facts that you see, the conditions and circumstances of your life.
And below the surface are all the beliefs that you have in your subconscious.
Things like, “Oh, this always happens to me! My car always breaks down!” or “I often get sick.”
The deeper that you go down in the iceberg, the deeper those thoughts are buried. Like an old relationship that really affected you when it ended badly. “My boyfriend broke up with me back in 1978 when I was in high school.” Or “My mother did this and my mother did that. My father did that. My teacher…” and so on. Those thoughts get into your subconscious thinking. And unless you bring awareness that you are still thinking those kinds of thoughts, they perpetuate. Those thoughts run like malware in the background.
Once you are aware of those thoughts, you have a choice. You do not have to live by those thoughts as though they were the truth.
A fact is that my boyfriend broke up with me back in 1978. So how do I respond to
men in the world today? Well, I’ve been married for 34 years but I bet there are still some habits from that time that are still running my relationship with my husband today. Fortunately I have worked on these things and brought them to the surface. And even better, my husband and I have calm conversations about what’s not working for you right now in the relationship. We ask “What would you like to do differently?” And we look at that for each other. Those conversations help us to start living from a different reality.
Here’s a Tool You Can Use
This a tool with you that I originally developed for kids, and then adults said they wanted them. This one is called the Empowerment Light Switch.
When I catch myself in insecurity thinking, I can flip the switch from Insecurity to Empowerment to remind myself to switch my thinking.
I can flip the switch, bring in a little light, and ask myself, “What’s an empowering thought I can replace that insecurity with?” You can hear the click and let it be your trigger sound to make that switch.
You Can Use Your Regular Light Switch at Home
You can do the same thing for yourself every time you turn on a light switch. Tell yourself, “I’m empowering myself today. Any insecure thoughts disappear in the light. I’ve got this handled today.”
So start paying attention to your thoughts. It’s a primary practice. You’ve got to start paying attention to what you are thinking. Then consciously choose to change your thinking, to switch it up, and look for a way to make that an empowering experience.
Always replace it with an empowerment thought so you can start living by design instead of by default
This episode of Christi’s Clarity was recorded for Facebook on January 27, 2023.
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Want to know more about these Universal Laws and how to use them?
They are described in an easy fun way using art as a metaphor in my book, Beyond the Box; Creative Thinking Expanded. Learn more about the book and get either a paperback or digital version at https://beyondtheboxbook.com It’s full of tools to help you create a life of joy, creativity, fun and excitement.
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